May 22, 2011…And Life Goes On

If I were to believe the billboard a couple of miles from my house, I would be very surprised to be here today. The billboard held Harold Camping’s claim of Christ return on May 21, 2011. He’d discovered this day though some formula he put together having to do with the many dates mentioned in the Bible, based off the verse in 2 Peter that says, “With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.” While Camping’s argument may have convinced thousands of people around the world that the end was near, all I could think about was the verses that he seemed to have overlooked, Matthew 24:36 and 42 and 44: “No one knows about the day or hour, not even the angels in Heaven, not the Son, but only the Father…Therefore, keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come…So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect Him.”

(Photo taken May 22, 2011)

Aren’t we cocky? That we can even speculate to figure out something that Jesus Himself doesn’t even know?

And besides, the message of the Bible is simple, and the truth is, God doesn’t work with complicated words and math problems. The Bible isn’t one big puzzle He has just been waiting for us to work out. And seems to me, if God were going to put a secret message in His word, just waiting for some one to crack the code, more than one man would have figured it out, and long ago. I refuse to believe that God would weave secret codes and complicated math problems into His message.

However, while I don’t place any belief in this theory, I have to admit, the idea that Friday, May 20^th could be my last day on earth did give me a sense of excitement. I was filled with thoughts of how, and if, I would live that day differently supposing I knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was the last day before Jesus returned. Well, turns out I didn’t live it any differently. I still slept in as late as my schedule would allow. I still snapped at my family. I still sped down the freeway going to work. I still didn’t put my full heart into everything I did. I still put off talking with God and reading His word. I still remained in a comfort zone. I still found ways to please myself above all others. Silly girl.

Friday I spent the night at a house I’m house sitting for some friends while they are away. This was my first night there, and I was alone. Before I left my sister and I were teasing about calling each other in the middle of the night to make sure we’d still be there, and when my mom called to tell me something, she jokingly informed me that “we’re still here”. Now, at this house I have no internet connection, and no TV. So, realistically, if Christ did return in the middle of the night, I’d have no way of knowing it. (And, truthfully, I wasn’t comforted by the too many sirens passing on the busy street behind the house!). But what did I have to be afraid of? I have no doubt of my Christianity, I fully believe that faith in Jesus is the only way to Heaven and life forever, so why was I afraid that He could be coming that night? Quite simply, because I’m not ready. Yes, of course Heaven will be wonderful, and I know once I’m there I’ll laugh at myself for ever thinking I would want to prolong my time here. But when I think of standing before God, and remembering all the countless times I told Him “later”, “not right now”, “I don’t feel like it” and all the other excuses, that’s what scares me. I have no promise of “later”, none of us do. We are only promised now. We can’t know what tomorrow holds. (Proverbs 27:1 “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth.” James 4:14 “You do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”)

And besides that, I have things I want to do, (ya hear that? “I want”, still working on that selfishness) I want to experience life, I want to get married, I want to raise a family, I, I, I. I wonder what God wants? But even then, the promise of “right now” is still something I ignore. I say “God, someday I want to do such and such.” I just imagine Him, listening to me go on and on, shaking His head and laughing, saying, “Ashley, look around. What are you doing right now? Look at the wonderful gift of time I have given you today, what have you done with it?” To which I shamefully hang my head and whisper, “well, I guess I haven’t done anything really, maybe I’ll do better tomorrow?” Tomorrow, always tomorrow.

We don’t know the day or the hour of His coming. Not even Harold Camping, but every time someone says, “Jesus could come next week, it could be tomorrow, it could even be right…now!” I always hold my breath, because it could be right NOW! God is not going to ask my permission whenever the time comes; He’s not going to cater to my status of readiness. All He asks of me, and of ALL of us, is that we live everyday as if it were May 20^th, 2011, always looking for His return, and living as if tomorrow we will see His face, and be welcomed to His open arms.

Jesus is coming…are you ready now?

“Therefore, keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come…So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect Him.” – Matthew 24:42 & 44

Sure As The Butter Flies (And Me Too!)

This might be a little random, but I thought it was fun :-) This is a recounting dream I had today during my afternoon nap. It was so exciting that after I woke up I went over the details again and again in my head so I wouldn't forget it, and I’ve put in as many details as I could remember. I’ve had many running dreams, but I’ve never flown before that I can remember, and in every single other running dream I was always running away from something that hurt me, never anything like this! So anyways, I decided to write it down, and maybe it’ll make you laugh :-)

I was dreaming that I was at my friend Jessie’s house (only, of course it looked nothing like her real house, I just knew it was hers) and I told her “Jess, you need to invite me over to swim sometime because I got a new bathing suit and I haven’t been able to use it yet.” (now, this is true, but when I said this in the dream we were already floating in her pool (which was in ground, unlike her real above ground pool) but I was in my clothes.)

Next thing I know, I’m swimming in the pool (in my bathing suit, because this is another day) and Jess has gone inside (the house was hers, but now the backyard belongs to me, even though it’s the same backyard as before). It’s sunny and comfortably warm for a summer day. All the greens are bright and illuminated by the sun. The yard is like a small valley, surrounded by four hills, each about three feet or so high (this is important later) with the pool on the right half, and a large tree with a hammock hanging from it in the other half. Along the back of the house is a garden, and in the garden is my trellis from our old Michigan house, and my irises are growing near the trellis. I'm swimming, and my mom, brother and sister are sitting on one of the hills reading.

I look up and see the most beautiful butterfly flying above me. I point to it and yell “Mom! Look! That’s the most beautiful one I ever saw!” the butterfly has large, gossamer wings (this is the word I think in my dream, gossamer) and it is colored with a shimmering, pastel rainbow, and it’s body was gold. The butterfly landed on a low hanging branch of the tree, above me in the pool, and I studied it as it rested.

Suddenly, the butterfly took flight toward the trellis, and I got out of the pool and followed it. I sat down under the trellis and held up my left hand and the butterfly landed on my index finger, and then it fluttered up above my head. I was sitting Indian style on the mulch, and when the butterfly started flying above my head I held my hands up to my chin and giggled like a Disney princess (these were my exact thoughts in the dream: “I should giggle like a Disney princess now.” No, I’m not kidding!). Then the butterfly did the most amazing thing! It grabbed hold of the end of my ponytail, and started pulling me across the yard! I ran up the soft grassy hill to the right, turned around and ran back down into the yard, across to the hill on the other side, but just as I was about to begin climbing the hill on the left the butterfly lifted me to the top of the hill! I turned around and headed back to the hill on the right, and the same thing happened! I somehow understood that the butterfly needed my momentum from running to get that final lift, so I ran swiftly and lightly, and she lifted me as I reached each end.

I was yelling for Jessie, “Jessie!! Come out now! You’ve got to see this!” and for my mom and brother and sister to watch me. I started yelling for my brother (it was Ben) to grab my camera that he had with him (and was part of the beginning of this dream which I cant remember) and take a video. Every time I passed him I’d yell for him to get it, but he kept trying and couldn’t get to video to work.

One time, as we ran passed the tree, the butterfly magically lifted the hammock so I could run under it. Then she lifted me so high that I was between the electrical wires! But when we went that high I told her “oh, that’s a little high for me, a little too high for Ashley.”

On our next trip passed Ben, he took a picture, but only of my feet. “Video! Video!” I yelled (by the way, all this yelling and screaming was the kind I’ve always experienced in dreams, where I’m trying to scream, but nothing but a weak gurgle comes out, I can never get my screams passed the phlegm in my throat. But this means that if anyone were around while I was having this dream, I’d imagine they would have been able to hear me talking and moaning in my sleep). Finally, Emily exasperatedly put down the book she was reading and showed Ben how to get the video. But as soon as he figured it out, the butterfly gently put me down and flew back into the tree. I somehow knew that she didn’t want to be filmed.

And then I woke up.